So this summer, I got really sucked into reality TV ... especially the hilariously odd, VH1 celebreality shows. Big Brother 8, Rock of Love, and The PickUp Artist have all become staples for my weekly lineup. We may be nearing the end of the seasons, but all that means is that the shows are getting more and more intense as the players are forced to step up their games. So! Let's start with the big one.
Big Brother 8 - CBS
Very, very pleased with the way Sunday night turned out! I mean, I'm still celebrating the eviction of psycho Jen! I was a little worried that the Jessica/Eric alliance would flip again and target Dick and Daniele, my personal favorites. But Jessica came through for me again, and instead nominated Wah-mber and the borderline-invisible Zach. I would be sort of sad to see Zach go, his new game of cockblocking Eric every time he's getting cozy with Jessica is the most personality he's shown this season!
Definitely enjoyed the reward contest, what with all the nudity and bubbles and all. Hunky Zach, cute Eric, and Evel Dick sliding around in mounds of foam? Now that is quality TV! Was definitely glad to see the girls take the challenge though, since the reward was a shopping spree and the men definitely do not care about that. Well, maybe Eric. Not the others though. And I very much enjoyed the men's confusion with unscrambling the words (to quote Zach, "I spent five days wearing a bunny suit ... and I couldn't spell "bunny suit.")
I'd really love to see Amber go home this week ... I mean, the crying game is funny, no question. I've tried to start making tally marks every time she breaks down (it's a tough count to keep, since she's doing it so often ...) But overall, she needs to go home. With any luck, the current dominant foursome can edit out Amber, then Zach, and then the one-woman god-squad that is Jameka. That would leave a very entertaining BB house, and an insanely boring sequester house. Sounds like par for the course to me.
Rock of Love - VH1
Mmm ... what a classy, classy show. Poison's Bret Michaels invites a houseful of girls to try and touch his heart ... among other things. I mean, they have a stripper pole right there in the living room! Nothing says class like erotically friendly furniture.
This show really wasn't worth discussing until now, since all it consisted of was women behaving badly and Bret Michaels becoming horny at the drop of a hat. Now that the house has dwindled to six, the competition is getting much more heated ... in more ways than one. We've got Lacey, who's certifiably crazy; Sam, who's sweet but emotional; Mia, who's still trying to make a connection with Bret; Heather, an old stripper who is just what that title suggests; Brandi, who's consistently inappropriate; and Jes, who's way too cool for this show.
I was disappointed this episode, I was so ready to see Lacey go home ... I actually liked her at the start, when she was targeting the girls who drove me nuts. But now, all those girls have gone on home and crazy-eyes Lacey has targeted my favorites and gotten crazier by the day. I do support Bret's decision this to get rid of Mia ... I mean, um, uh, so um, Mia? Learn to speak with some conviction, honey. She really brought this on herself. All the other girls stepped up their game, and she fumbled her words and fell out of the competition.
In the end, I'm rooting for Sam and Jes. They both seem very genuine, not getting into the catty games of the other girls, and they seem like they could be a good match for him. However, none of the _noun_ of Love shows have successfully made a match yet, and I'd hate to see either of those two get publicly burned by Bret.
The preview for next week looks pretty promising for outing Lacey as the mad thing she actually is. How I'll make it through another week, I don't know.
The Pickup Artist - VH1
At first, I really hated this concept. Teaching men how to trick women into bed? Pass. But actually, it's more than that. It's about confidence building and teaching socially inept men how to carry themselves in social situations. The chick-getting is just another facet of this. I actually find myself absorbing some of the basic networking advice mentioned ... it's really pretty sound, universal advice for how to break the ice, engage a group in conversation without seeming desperate or overwhelming, and make an impact.
I'm intrigued by the host, the one-name wonder Mystery. On the surface he really weirds me out, with the fuzzy hat and the kiss tattooed on his neck and all the piercings. But without all his accessories, I think he's really a very attractive guy! And he's got a great voice ... I'd watch the show just to listen to him lecture.
The boys are Scott, Pradeep, Brady, Joe D., Joe W., and Alvaro (who goes by the alias Kosmo for reasons known only to himself.) I'm really very fond of some of the boys, Scott and Joe W. in particular. They have that nerd-allure that always appeals to me, and as the show progresses I'd love to see them excel without losing that part of themselves to the pick-up artist super-suavity.
The focus tonight was teaching the men kissing techniques and how to gauge whether or not they can get by with going in for a kiss or just get slapped. With this concept in place, it does mean this particular episode got a little out of hand, which is understandable with two sexy women vamped up on each other to demonstrate techniques, grown men frenching pieces of fruit, and the, ahem, contest the men got to take part in: practicing their new kissing techniques on a sexy, blonde, blindfolded woman. Rrrow.
The contest was ... interesting, to say the least, but in the end Kosmo smooched his way to victory. Some of the guys really knew what they were doing (Pradeep! Way to step up, hon!) and some of them were clearly out of their depth.
The same thing can be said of the field test. Out of all the guys, only Kosmo managed to seal the deal and get his kiss, due in part to Mystery coaching him through an earpiece (his reward for winning the kiss contest.) The other guys faltered, floundered, and generally dropped the ball (again I turn to Pradeep, whose noisy and desperate attempts to declare himself a VIP fell tragically flat.) In the end, Kosmo and his selected wingmen, the two Joes, got to stay on the show, as did Brady and Pradeep. Which means Scott went home, tragically! I'd so hoped to see more of him ... psst! Scott! Give me a call, sweetie. I'll show you how I play Dungeons and Dragons ... heehee.
Next week appears to involve men in thongs ... they would throw this in right when Scott leaves. Sigh. Oh well. Go Joe W.!
In closing, a little side note regarding the finale of VH1's Scott Baio is 45 and Single. The look on Scott's face when his fiance of ten seconds tells him she's pregnant by him? Total freaking panic. Let's see how long that relationship lasts once she sees that deer-in-the-headlights look ...