Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hi, Maintenance

The maintenance people in my apartment complex have the worst timing.

This afternoon, after a crazy-busy morning, I decided to take a nap. Nothing big, just an hour or so to get me back to center. I'm woken up shortly thereafter by loud, open-the-fuck-up-it's-the-cops-style pounding on my front door and someone shouting, "housekeeping!" like a drill sergeant.

In my still sleep-addled state, my mind comes up with Schwarzenegger in an apron. Quite seriously. Not a great image, but a hell of a wake-up call.

Now, my complex may be nice, but complimentary housekeeping isn't part of the package. However, if they were who they said they were, that meant they had a key to my apartment and I was not exactly dressed for company. I flung myself out of bed and ran to the front door to keep it locked until I could figure out what was going on.

Me: Uh, hi, can I help you?

Housekeeping: Housekeeping!

Me: ... Since when do I have housekeeping?

Housekeeping: We're here to clean your bathroom.

Me: Um, that's really not ... necessary ...

Housekeeping: It's just the OU Housing department's way of saying thank you for being such a loyal tenant for the past three years.

Me: Oh. Well that's really nice and all ... um ... I'm wearing a bedsheet right now, ma'am.

Housekeeping: Oh. Um ... we'll come back in five minutes.

So they left me to make myself presentable - while the whole bedsheet-as-gown-look may be very early-cinema starlet, it really wasn't doing it for me.

Apparently, I have in fact earned myself a weekly bathroom cleaning because of my loyalty to the OU Housing system. Which is seriously not necessary, but I'm really not sure how to tell them I can Pine-Sol my own toilet.

Note to self: no more napping on Thursdays.


Stephen Carradini said...

Yet another really creepy but originally heartfelt OU plan.

Jordan said...

What the flip? You aren't at Traditions, are you? They visited me, too, except I wasn't there, and they left my apartment unlocked after they cleaned. It was really weird.